Thursday, December 19, 2013

Why I Don't Blog

[Actually, the title should probably read "Why I Don't Blog That Often" because, clearly, I am blogging right now.]
But here's why, despite having "Blogger" and (more recently) "WordPress," I very rarely blog:
I have ideas that roll around in my head alright, and some of them even manage to make it to paper (both actual and virtual).  Some of these ideas may be good ones; some may even be great ones.  The problem, as I see it, is that if I blog about these and they ARE great (or even good), the essays I create on my web pages are then considered "published," or, at least, they don't qualify as submission material for literary magazines that insist on only pieces that have never appeared publicly in any form.  Unless I plan one day to compile my blogs into a published collection a la The Bloggess (who is awesome, by the way, and if you are unfamiliar with her work, Google her right now!), then my potentially great essay, er blog, is virtually (no pun intended) DEAD TO ME.
Unless, of course, I significantly change it enough later on that I can, guilt-free-ly, submit it to a magazine as unpublished.
But what are the odds that I will ever do that?  Slim to none.
Another reason that I don't blog more often (besides being lazy) is that I've read that the main reason a person should blog is to get "out there" if s/he is a frustrated unpublished writer because, after all, the main reason we writers write is to be read.  I've read several accounts that, beyond blowing off steam or using the blog as some other kind of catharsis, one needn't blog if one is already having at least moderate success at being published.  Since, over the last couple of years, nearly a dozen of my essays have been published in various magazines, that itch of mine is being scratched.  Most likely, since I have few "followers," more people have read my essays in those magazines that published them than would ever have seen them in my blog.
There are, of course the Leslie Pietrzyks (see Work-In-Progress on Blogger!!) who are repeatedly and wonderfully published, teach, AND keep up with a regular blog, and, to those people, I say "Thank You" and "Where DO you find the TIME and MOTIVATION?"  When I'M not grading papers, pretty much the last thing I want to do is put the energy and concentration into an essay or story that I can't submit yet also can't really count as having been "published."  It's just too easy and effortless to click on Candy Crush Saga instead (I'm on level 189 by the way).
But, yes, I have plenty to say.  
For instance, I'm planning an essay about a "secret room" my sister discovered in our grandparents' house and its potential link to the depression that, I've been told, runs in our family.
Banging around in my head is also an essay about how and why my "half" brother (now deceased) broke up with me.  That's right; I said half BROTHER who BROKE UP WITH ME.  Intrigued?  Well, someday you may read about it, but it won't be here or on Blogger.
Also, I just learned a new term (from Augusten Burroughs' book Magical Thinking).  The term, in case you missed it, is "magical thinking," which, when I read the definition (first in his book, then on Wikipedia) I realized applies to me and what I do (though I disagree with the part of the definition that calls it a "schizotypal personality disorder."  Only about an hour ago, I had the idea that I would like to write about my own version of magical thinking.  But not here.
Oh, the ideas just keep coming.  But, you see, I have to SAVE these for the REAL essays.  At least, that's what I tell myself.  Which is why many of my ideas will never actually become a finished product.
So if the "good" or potentially "great" pieces are saved instead of appearing on my blog, what is left?  Well, one need only look at my (very few) past blogs to find my recounting of dreams I've had, rants I've been compelled to write, or other ramblings (like this one) with long silent stretches in between.  Surely not great, probably not good, hopefully not total crap.
Will it change?  Probably not.  But now at least I've explained it.

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