I keep thinking I'll get more motivated to write here, but somehow I can always think of so many other things I'd rather be doing, like flossing my teeth, drinking, or playing games on facebook. I have been reading a great deal, so I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself. Yeah, whatever, just another excuse. Today, for instance, is a day off, day 1 of a 4 day weekend. One of my students asked me yesterday if I planned to spend this Easter Break working on my next book. Well, it's now almost 4:00, and so far I've balanced my checkbook. And played games on facebook. I've also spent some time debating over whether to have a beer or a mixed drink with my supper. As you can see, I've been busy.
The truth is, I feel pressured to be witty or profound or something else that doesn't just come easily (for me, anyway) but has to be worked at. Part of me says to treat my blog as a journal entry, which, granted, might make it seem more accessible for me, but who, then, would want to read it? I know that if I did consider my blog a sort of diary, I'd simply use it to whine or complain. Wait, is that what I'm doing anyway? Then again, is anyone even reading what I write here? Maybe I shouldn't worry about what I put in here; maybe I'm just kidding myself that I even HAVE an audience. After all, I subscribe to a few blogs but rarely read them. Once in a while I read Leslie Pietrzyck's blog, and when I do, I envy the extra hours she obviously has in her day such that she manages to find time for teaching, writing, travelling to conferences AND blogging. Or, admittedly, she may just spend less time flossing, drinking, or playing games on fb than I do. I also occasionally visit the pithy, daring, and sometimes crude page of The Bloggess (and if you have never read her work, dear readers (the 2 or 3 of you who may someday read this), then you are definitely missing out. Her book is excellent, by the way, especially if you are a fan of taxidermy.
Speaking of taxidermy, my husband and I were in the Tractor Supply store the other day (and if you're wondering why I used caps there, that IS the name of the store - this is the South.) buying yet another couple of bags of environmentally correct fuel (i.e. wood pellets) to get us through this ungodly winter that will not let go, when I saw the sign for Baby Chickens and Ducks right next to a rack of books on how to raise various animals for food. Okay, not exactly taxidermy but just as disgusting as far as I'm concerned. A vegetarian of about 4 years now, I found myself staring down at the galvanized tubs full of newly hatched babies, imagining their fate and feeling bad. Maybe a few will live pampered lives as family pets, but I'm guessing most will end up being eaten.
As we returned to the car, Scott said, "If a guy asked me 'How do you raise these? What do they eat?' I'd tell him 'You can't have one.'"
Evidently, my husband felt bad, too, but probably for different reasons. After all, he still eats meat and doesn't consider it a moral issue.
That night, my daughter (also a vegetarian) told me that, in her opinion, raising one's own meat is more honest and less hypocritical than pretending that the nuggets you're eating have always been breaded and bite-sized. Chloe also believes that animals raised for food on small farms are probably treated better than those raised en masse on factory farms. I hope she's right, but I still don't have to like it. If I had to eat meat to survive, I could, but I don't. Most of us in this great, developed, consumer-oriented country we live in don't. People eat meat because they like it, or maybe because they can't imagine NOT eating it, can't imagine what to put in that big space on the plate between the potatoes and the green beans. So even with high cholesterol, and high blood pressure, and clogged arteries, people doggedly (oh, don't even get me started on the way DOGS are mistreated! THAT'S another blog for another day) hang on to their meat, as if they couldn't go on without it.
I believe it will be a beer this evening, since I will be preparing guacamole with black beans (whole grain chips on the side). See? Meatless AND delicious.
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